We are a little more than four weeks ahead of the performance on February 27 and there are a number of urgent deadlines coming up this week. I’ll dump my anxiety into the PUSH ITEMS (below).
I am finding that I am more creative and productive with a circle of colleagues that I can talk to about the ideas and notions that are in my head. I don’t think this approach works with everyone, especially composers who tend to be solitary in their creative process.
And this may be the larger issue that I am thinking about in the long-term. What is it about my creative preferences that puts value on collaboration? It might be a super-power but it also might be my kryptonite. And I’m always trying to find the balance between working in isolation and in a group process.
Clearly, I’m the active agent driving everything related to the 2/27 Project FunnyMeanHappySad and so as a “producer” I am working with performers, promoters, and production folks. As the “composer-creator” of the music and the “presenter” or M.C. I also have production aspects:
Overseeing so many aspects is a little daunting and so organizing the commodity of time is critical to success. SO —- what does success look like? Setting goals was probably work that should have been done in a more granular sense weeks/months ago. Knowing what I’m shooting for as the host, creator, composer, producer, promoter and performer still needs to be clearly and thoroughly articulated. There is no time like the present.
What does success look like on March 1, 2022?
As the creator/composer
Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, again, itemizes 87 emotions which make it easier to include for consideration in the emoticard that will be handed out to the audience before the show. The list she creates is based on social science research but it leaves out some of the basics in practice of Baroque music. But first, here are her categories of emotions in list form:
Places we go...when things are uncertain or too much: Stress, Overwhelm, Anxiety, Worry, Avoidance, Excitement, Dread, Fear, Vulnerability
...when we compare: Comparison, Admiration, Reverence, Envy, Jealousy, Resentment, Schadenfreude, Freundenfreude
...when things don't go as planned: Boredom, Disappointment, Expectations, Regret, Discouragement, Resignation, Frustration
...when it's beyond us: Awe, Wonder, Confusion, Curiosity, Interest, Surprise
...when things aren't what they seem: Amusement, Bittersweetness, Nostalgia, Cognitive Dissonance, Paradox, Irony, Sarcasm
...when we're hurting: Anguish, Hopelessness, Despair, Sadness, Grief
...where we go with others: Compassion, Pity, Empathy, Sympathy, Boundaries, Comparative Suffering
...where we go when we fall short: Shame, Self-Compassion, Perfectionism, Guilt, Humiliation, Embarassment
...where we go when we search for connection: Belonging, Fitting, Connection, Disconnection, Insecurity, Invisibility, Loneliness
...where we go when the heart is open: Love, Lovelessness, Heartbreak, Trust, Self-Trust, Betrayal, Defensiveness, Flooding, Hurt
...where we go when life is good: Joy, Happiness, Calm, Contentment, Gratitude, Foreboding Joy, Relief, Tranquility
...where we go when we feel wronged: Anger, Contempt, Disgust, Dehumanization, Hate, Self-Righteousness
...where we go to self-assess: Pride, Hubris, Humility